- More clarity and confidence in a decision about the future of your marriage
- More understanding of what has happened to your marriage and the part each of you has played in the problems
- A game plan for change if you decide to work on the marriage
- A set of learnings that you can carry with you into future relationships if you end this one, and a better chance to be good co-parents if you have children.
Surveys find that up to 40% of divorced people have regrets about their divorce decision, often because they feel they (and their partner) did not try hard enough to make the marriage work. Are there rocks not turned over and looked under in your marriage, thoughts and feelings not expressed, mistakes not acknowledged, help not sought?
In this brief counselling service (a maximum of five session, and often briefer), you will be supported, honored for where you are, and asked to look at what you would need to change in yourself to have a healthy relationship —whether in this marriage or in a future one. You can’t divorce yourself.
Couples who go through Discernment Counselling most often come out the other end more settled and confident about their next steps, whether to make one, last, all-out effort in couples therapy to restore their marriage to health, or to move forward with divorce. Our research shows that about half of couples choose the reconciliation path in couples’ therapy, and most of the other half proceed directly to divorce after having carefully considered their options. Divorce lawyers tell us these couples are calmer and the divorce process is smoother because of the work done in discernment counseling.
I hope you consider this new service for couples like you, on the brink. You may end up with a realistic plan to restore your marriage to health. Or, you may end up with a decision to divorce that you will be less likely to regret in years to come, and with learnings about yourself that you can carry with you into new relationships.