Leaning In Spouses


You may be on this page because your spouse has put divorce on the table or even started the divorce process. Since the time you were hit with this possibility, you may have gone through a wide range of emotions such anger, denial, fear, uncertainty, and sadness. You may be trying to change your spouse's mind, or you may be distancing yourself and hoping for the best.

In other words, this has been a very tough time, and I’d like to help.

As a certified discernment counselor I honor your desire to save your marriage and I will help you bring your best self to this crisis.  This is a critical time in your relationship. You may feel tempted to shut down emotionally and stonewall your partner, or you may feel the need to become boundary less with you partner promising to do anything to keep your partner in the relationship, even if it may not be good for you. I want to help you maintain your health and wellbeing by helping you find the middle ground where you are engaged but not desperate, connected but not enmeshed. You can’t directly change your spouse’s mind about working on the marriage, but you can ask if your spouse will consider doing discernment counseling with you—not to fix the marriage but to see if it is fixable.

I have a website page dedicated to spouses who are “leaning out” of the marriage. Read it yourself and invite your spouse to look at it, with the hope that he or she will be open to seeing a discernment counselor with you.