Finding Lasting Romance in the Digital Age


One of the greatest conveniences afforded to us by modern technology is online dating. Before the internet era challenged norms and broken traditions, the search for a romantic partner meant moving to a different city or combing all public places possible in the hope of bumping into a person who shares the same interests as you. At present, all you need to do is go online, choose your best-looking photo, craft an irresistible bio, and the next thing you know, you’re already connected to potential partners within your vicinity. Your chance at a promising happy-ever-after is just at your fingertips.

The increasing popularity of online dating

Due to the accessibility that dating apps provide, it’s no surprise that men and women from all walks of life have readily taken to this platform to pursue romance alongside juggling other priorities in life. About 3.8 million Canadians have used dating apps as of 2019, and this figure is projected to increase by 10.8 percent by 2023, a clear indication that online dating and matchmaking has and continues to gain popularity despite the social stigma attached to it.

The basics of online dating are simple. Two people meet through a dating site/app and decide to hang out in real life. If they hit it off the first time, the initial meeting is followed by a second date, then a third date, and so on. Tinder, one of today’s widely used dating apps, has a Swipe to Like approach which allows users to “hit on” dozens of persons and hope these users return the attention. When two users Swipe on each other, they can then begin exchanging messages and decide on the course of the relationship from there.

If you’re looking to find real and lasting romance in this digital-driven age, here are some tips on creating an online dating account that attracts and how you can position yourself for the ideal relationship.


Put yourself out there

If you haven’t already, get in the online space! Below are tips to get started:

  • Choose a dating platform that works for you - Not all dating sites are created equal, and some of them are not going to work for you. Once you’ve picked the right one, stick with it for the long haul. It will be easier for you to get quality results over time if you devote your attention to a single site than a number of them all at the same time.

When choosing a site, consider your age group and what you want to get out of the dating experience. Tinder is ideal for singles who are in their 20’s and are looking for a casual relationship. On the other hand, OKCupid may work well for users who identify with a sexual minority. Various websites cater to the needs of specific communities, so it will help to dig around and see which one fits your needs.

  • Fill out all relevant information - Write a substantial amount of information on your profile to give people an idea of who you are. Think about what you want to tell your readers and how to present yourself. Start by stating some qualities that make you unique. This can be anything from your hobbies, interests, to your aspirations, personal values, and what you can bring to a relationship for it to thrive.

  • Be engaging - Show, don’t tell! Instead of using adjectives to describe who you are or what you do in your spare time, write a brief anecdote to engage your readers. For example, instead of saying that you love books, state the titles you’ve read, your favourite authors, or how the ending of a particular novel broke your heart.

Narrow your option

Before entering the world of online dating, be clear about your goal. What is your intention for dating? Are you looking for a steady or casual relationship? Is marriage your end goal? What specific qualities are you looking for in a person? Create an exhaustive list and get as detailed as you can. Creating a list requires identifying your preferences

After paring down your choices, write your profile details in such a way that reflects your preferences. Be more selective if you must so you can appeal to the person you like. While you’re at it, remember to let your personality show in every detail on your profile. Give your readers a glimpse into how it would be like to spend time with you when they’re visiting your page.


Keep it real

“Make sure your profile reflects your authentic self,” says Amy Baglan, the founder of online dating site MeetMindful. Beyond the externalities of dating (physical attraction), the foundation of a romantic relationship is mutual trust and meaningful connection. When you reveal your authentic self, you will attract the love interest who will accept and love you at the outset.

One straightforward way to bare your true self is by posting photos of yourself (close-up and full-length) to show the world your natural beauty. The one who’s genuinely into you will appreciate you without you attempting to impress them for who you’re not.


Be confident

Genuine, unshakable confidence comes from deep self-love. You can’t pour from an empty cup: to be able to love others, you have to shower yourself with love first. Build your confidence by doing things that fuel your personal growth. Stimulate your thoughts by reading books, train your strength and endurance by exercising, and pamper yourself with a relaxing massage.

If you feel you’re still in the dark about what you want to do in life or the strengths you need to develop, consider seeking the intervention of a counsellor who can help you unleash your best self.

Do things that ignite your passion and let your readers know about your dreams and goals. People who radiate confidence, a strong will, and enthusiasm for life are found to be highly attractive. Tap on your strengths and find courage inwardly. Let your inner light shine, and the right person will come your way.


Enjoy the process

One of the most common mistakes people commit when dating online is introducing sex prematurely when the relationship has not sailed off yet. Sexual chemistry is established through constant communication, and forcing it too soon will likely scare away a potential partner. It would be best to strengthen the emotional bond first.

Be patient and let the idea of sex bloom naturally. Keep in mind that you will have plenty of time to nurture the sexual chemistry once the relationship reaches the “steady” status. The higher you build it up, the more exciting and satisfying sex will become for both of you. On the first level of dating, focus on establishing trust and honesty. Let things run their natural course and take time to develop intimacy.

Finding an enduring romantic relationship through online dating is a process. There are several factors you need to consider before setting off to this journey that can significantly influence its outcome. If you’ve been single for too long before this moment, you may need to assess your readiness and how your previous experiences can factor in your future relationship.

Other factors you need to deal with include managing a possible long-distance relationship and dealing with miscommunication and relational conflicts as a result of mediated communication. The assistance of a professional counsellor can help you put things in perspective.

If you desire a beautiful life and fulfilling relationships, you can turn to Wendy Hart, a known Registered Psychologist in St. Albert. She is dedicated to helping clients create and maintain rewarding relationships. Call her today at (780) 246-8100 to book your appointment.

Wendy Hart